EXHIBIT 4: Peace while I wait

Love is patient

That is a metaphor.  Meaning the author is conveying an idea about “love” by showing us something different.  A metaphor is an equation that presents the thing that we don’t know as the same as a thing that we do know, i.e. A = B. 

A Love = B patience.

The problem for me is that while I think I have loved, I am not certain about the patience.  Certainly, one does not stay married for 25 years without having been at least somewhat patient.  The question for me is what’s the measure of patience?  Does it have a limit?  If so, then have I hit it, gone beyond it, or fallen short of the mark?

Patient means to be at peace while one waits. 

I must admit, that is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think about love.  It ain’t the second or third or fourth thing either.  But it is the first thing that our pastor said to us about love when she officiated over our wedding ceremony. 

That day was hot.  And so was I, at least just before the wedding got started.  Our ceremony was held up and I was sitting in a car with my father waiting—impatiently—for the ceremony to begin.  There were other challenges that day too.  My train was put on inside out and I had to correct it on the way into the chapel.  My photographer took terrible photographs.  Some big things.  Some small things.  But a simple, union was consecrated on that date.  And so it was beautiful.

Weddings require a measure of patience.  Marriages require more.

Love is at peace while one waits.  Waits?  For what?

For whatever.  But chances are if one is waiting then it is likely for something that one wants IMMEDIATELY.  So if the waiting proves too difficult.  Too hard.  One imagines that the love has been injured.  That it’s been marred.

But no:  Love is patient. 

So the difficulty in waiting, the perception of injury happens elsewhere.  Not to love—because love waits patiently.  And it doesn’t say for how long.  Sometimes the waiting seems to be too long.  But too long for whom? 

Love waits peacefully.

So the perception of waiting “too long” happens elsewhere. 

Time.  The perception of a limit.  An expiration date.  That is not love. 

After a quarter century of marriage, this simple revelation is clear evidence that God is giving me another opportunity to get things right.  

Now THAT is loving.